What makes you doubt yourself and how it can rip you to shreds if not taken seriously
I’m back at the same point where I learned I need to push myself harder. I also learned I’m often good enough with most of my practices and how desperate I am to scale these up to a higher level. Self-doubting is the one big problem that would always hold me back at one or another point. When you doubt yourself, no matter how well you perform, you will end up turning blue with the idea you haven’t done well. No matter how much you do, learning is a process and nobody reaches the top if they fear climbing. Self-doubting consumes your energy in a way that affects your psychology so you will restrict your mind to push further, start expecting more from yourself, and even if you perform better than earlier, you’ll be disappointed. It also brings you in a position where you compare your present self with others, you imagine how well it would be if you were with enough resources, leading you to a mental state where you harm yourself, people around you, and even, living in isolation, no desire to seek help from others, and you live with the idea — you are never enough.
To overcome, you can begin with self-affirmation practices where you read out your own fears, with peace in your head that tells you to believe in yourself. Self-affirmation is definitely the one practice that teaches you you’re good enough and doubting your powers, imagination won’t be of help. You should trust your gut, no matter what it screams. If it asks you to step ahead and tell someone how much they mean to you — you better do. Self-doubt also makes you much prone to be attacked by people and their opinions. You build your progress based on how they perceive your ability. A significant point that should be marked here is that people have varying opinions and you can’t even touch them to bits even if you try. They do not know how much you’ve gone through, your childhood, your peers, scars on your mental wellness, and your efforts to reach this far as they don’t know you.
I have been there and always wondered what makes this world a miserable place that a chunk of like me want to give up and with no energy to battle anymore. When I was first introduced to the idea of how our psychology affects every decision we make, our reaction to the problems, to other’s opinions, and how we plan our day — I learned and experience it in a better capacity. It all began with acceptance. I took few minutes and evaluated the amount of energy, the reactions, and how I have been carrying a lot on my shoulders for no reason. I practiced this idea every time I felt hammered by a problem and found no solution. Turned out, it was mostly in my head. Not that the problem didn’t exist, but it was completely my choice if I even want to consider it to be a problem or a phase of life. Further, this led me to the next step to experience if this is the worst situation I could imagine myself dealing with. Again, every time I lived with psychology, it was a problem, a bigger one — it killed my ability to find peace in the same amount. It’s usually a process and sometimes if you understand you’re not able to cope with it, seek professional help.
Your mind is a beautiful space, a universe, and the exposure it received over a longer time, changes the way it functions (say while growing up, nobody tells you should rest and they keep encouraging you to run after money, without a purpose and you find yourself lost). It becomes a habit to take everything to your heart, that you’re surrounded by woes, people don’t care, and life turns monotonous that your heart, mind don’t want to take it forward anymore. When you get to a point where you understand how things have been to you and how immediately you need to switch your consciousness to a path of healing, you find no time for it. The way it took years to put your mind in a position that it has stopped dreaming beyond the idea of survival, please let it take enough time to process, to heal gradually, each day, each minute. Healing is a process, and it’s important to make time for it.
Here are few practices I learned from my peers and I hope they are of help for each of you who find themselves at this same point:
1. Let your thoughts be read; write them down-
Writing helps you figure your emotions in a more organized way. When you put your thoughts on paper, one after one, your experiences become more organized each passing day. The best part — it’s free of judgments, full of mistakes, and yet, you’ll find yourself at peace.
2. Psoclogical behaviors-
Once you understand how your reactions ruin the peace of your mind, start with slight changes in your habits. For me, meditation worked well. You can choose to go for small walks in the morning, keep yourself distanced from the outside world, past regrets, glitches, and let your mind find its peace in present. Do it few days, see how well they worked for you, and add healthy practices to your daily schedule. This could involve listening to delightful music, reading books, spending time in nature, photography, developing a new habit, making time for your passion, and no matter what it is — find yourself in a peaceful place. Practicing happiness and peace of mind should be the goal.
3. To be present and prioritize your wellness:
It took me years to understand the importance of physical and psychological wellness. Learn to say no, take time out for yourself, smile more often, let go of glitches, make new friends, connect with new cultures, talk about solutions, support people in need, despite asking someone to get over, be their shoulder to cry on. We all have some or the other thing going on and we do not know how difficult it must be for someone on the other side. Be present, support, and be ready to listen.
You will gather so many other different ways to keep yourself at peace. The idea is, we trust our gut feelings, we learn, we experience without regrets, move on, let go, know that it’s okay not to be as good as others, know that it’s important you be yourself.
Sending love, power, and hope to everyone! How do you find yourself at peace and what are the approaches that work best for you? :)